Right Choice in Personal Matters

The freedom to make choices, or take actions that are entirely personal in their effects, is easy to understand as others are not really affected by your choice except in so far as they are your loved ones, family and friends affected by the results of such choice. But even in the exercise of such a freedom of personal choice, in what are seen as routine matters, it is necessary to have a measure that helps to differentiate between a good and a bad choice. What can such a measure be, is it to be a purely momentary whim, or what someone casually recommends, or is there a more fundamental and unbiased way to determine the rightness of such a choice?

How do you decide whether a particular decision or choice you are intending to make is the best for you? Could the right personal decisions or choices be made not only by subjective impulses but by subjecting such impulses to a more objective analysis based perhaps on economic fundamentals?

Yes, there is a simple, unbiased and fundamentally economic way to determine the rightness of any choice or decision you might exercise, except for purely emotional choices. Ask yourself the question, -Which comes first, the benefit / reward / pleasure, or the payment / effort / pain, as a result of the choice you propose to make?

Like for any financial transaction, if the benefit / reward / pleasure comes first and the payment / effort / pain comes later, it is a credit transaction or choice, eg: indulgence at a feast of food or drink, followed by indigestion or hangover later, taking it easy and enjoying a movie before an examination or an athletic competition followed by the pain of regrets over the poor results thereafter, or over extending your EMI to buy things on credit and having to face the bills thereafter. Such choices are clearly bad or poor choices. While the opposite where the payment / effort / pain comes first and the benefit / reward / pleasure comes later, eg: the effort before the examination or competition, giving you the satisfaction of having done your best whatever the result, or controlling yourself by being moderate at the feast and enjoying the satisfaction and memories of it thereafter, or electing to pay upfront for what you need, or choosing to do without if you can’t, such are cash transactions or choices and are evidently good choices and are therefore preferable.

Always seek to avoid living on credit, or living on hope or wishes, that tomorrow will always be better and will take care of itself without any effort from you. Being optimistic about tomorrow does not mean being feckless or wishful about it.

In personal and family interactions, it is essential to consider putting in the effort to build a relationship (not necessarily measured only in purely economic terms of support but also, of emotional involvement and of time, of care, and of recognition of the contribution of the other to that relationship) before seeking to claim its benefits / reward / pleasure / rights.

Thus, when dealing with others, at home or at the workplace always seek to understand the simple cause and effect relationships that give rise to conflicts, address the core conflicts by revising the assumptions underlying the conflict and stop the blame game. Seek not to find a compromise which will always be only a win – lose approach, but to arrive at a solution whereby both parties get what they seek – find ways to increase the perception of the size of the cake, instead of arguing as to how the other is getting a larger share. To get a bigger ‘Win’ for yourself, find a way to offer what can be perceived as a different ‘Big’ or even ‘Bigger’ win for the other party.

For financial and project oriented decisions, build-in trip wires and limits into your processes, so that you are warned in time and damages are limited.

Decisions or choices can also, be made based on your instincts or gut feeling on a heuristic basis, which we say is a ‘thumb-rule’. Such decisions are made based on the level of knowledge and experience you have in those circumstances and where there is no time available to learn more before deciding. In such circumstances, trust your knowledge and experience and go with your instincts, especially where the decision itself is not so crucial or vital. Choosing a restaurant to eat at, or a cinema to go to, or a book to read are some of such choices. Word of mouth advice from friends can be useful. However, when things are more crucial or vital then you need to be much more careful, deliberate on the options and the consequences. Do a pre-mortem of each option and make a decision or choice you are now confident is the best. In such serious matters where your choices have drastic and long lasting consequences, do not go only by instincts, unless there is no time, when of course you will have no other option but to trust your instincts and go by your gut-feelings or follow the ‘thumb rules’ your experience has taught you.

Gut feelings are good at times but mostly they are better at demonstrating negatives or dislikes.

Learn as much as possible in the time available or consult someone better informed and, most importantly, who will have the time and interest in you to properly advise you.

We do not behave like scientists, who are purely interested in objective facts. Instead we think like Lawyers, crafting the best possible justification for a predetermined conclusion.

Scientists rightly see all decisions or choices as made by algorithms. An algorithm is a methodical set of steps that can be used to make calculations, resolve problems and reach decisions. It is not the calculation itself, but the method followed when making the calculation. Emotions are biochemical algorithms that are based on sensations, emotions and thoughts, evolved over millennia that, as Yuval Noah Harare writes, help in making decisions, even reproductive decisions. Such feelings lead to even important life choices in over 99 percent of the decisions we make, but in many cases today the scientists are of the opinion that data driven algorithms may be more useful. However, as humans we cannot surrender our power to make decisions to data algorithms, our free will must come from ourselves, even as we may make use of data algorithms.

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